Funnies
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How to judge someone's personality by their drink
WOMEN
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. (Pretentious)
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Drink: Barcardi Breezer - Hooch
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually
has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.
Drink: Shots (Vodka, Gin etc.)
Personality: Hanging with boy pals or looking to get drunk and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
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MEN - as always, very simple and clear cut.
Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid
Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated
image and help him get laid.
Vodka : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to
get laid.
Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit
anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Southern Comfort : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
into getting laid.
Tequila : Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something
with a pulse (he's obviously from Barrow-in-Furness or the far North
of Scotland)
Barcardi Breezer/Hooch/Malibu : He's gay
