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Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. -Roseanne

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Excuses given by people caught by speed cameras
I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance. I was in the airport?s flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car. I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet. There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit. My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital. The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera. I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets. A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator. There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned. The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.
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