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I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.

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How to identify usenet news readers
BEGINNER: - Thinks rn is a typo. - Posts empty articles. - Wonders what `@' means. - Accidentally sends (empty) mail messages to other readers. NOVICE: - Knows how to read news, but seldom does, since s/he hasn't learned how to (un)subscribe to a subject. - Posts the programmer-lightbulb joke to soc.women. - Tries to post his/her KILL files. - Posts articles asking what `:-)' means, and misspells it. - Wonders why people go to all the trouble of typing in other people's articles with all those silly ">"s. USER: - Knows how to post follow-ups, but uses ed to do so. - Posts articles asking what `SO', `BTW', and `MOTOS' mean. - Has heard of KILL files, but doesn't know what they are. - Has worn out the `n' key. - Still reads rec.humour KNOWLEDGEABLE USER: - Knows about .signature files, but sometimes includes them twice. - Posts flames to net.announce.newusers. - Uses KILL files, but only on "Subject:" lines. - Has learned to edit the "follow-ups to:" line. - Can save a rot13'd joke, and read it later. EXPERT: - Knows how to post anonymously, from non-existent sites. - Posts flames about users of "notes." - Has 0.1 megabytes of KILL files, and 5 megabytes of mail. - Is known by name at virtually all news sites. - Knows how to post rot13'd jokes, and can read them without saving and exiting. HACKER: - Knows how to create new newsgroups. - Has modified local version of vnews to allow longer postings. - Uses rmgroup instead of KILL files. - Knows how to send mail through the ARPANET. - Can read rot13'd text without unrotating it. GURU: - Has private database of alternate paths to all sites. - Has caused at least one newsgroup to be eliminated due to low signal/noise. - Name appears in over 1000 KILL files (at other sites). - Uses undocumented features of rn. - Moderates at least one newsgroup. WIZARD: - Thinks rn is a typo.
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