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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... * Brian O'Rourke

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The University of Real Life's "Becoming a real man" course
"A new two-year degree is being offered at Life University that many 
of you should be  interested in:  Becoming A Real Man. That's right, 
in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man-as well as earn 
an AA  degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over  the  
program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
    MEN 101         Combating Stupidity
    MEN 102         You, Too, Can Do Housework
    MEN 103         PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
    MEN 104         We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
    MEN 110         Wonderful Laundry Techniques
    MEN 111         Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
    MEN 112         Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
    EAT 100         Get a Life, Learn to Cook
    EAT 101         Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
    ECON 001A       What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
    MEN 120         How NOT to Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
    MEN 121         Understanding Your Incompetence
    MEN 122         YOU, the Weaker Sex
    MEN 123         Reasons to Give Flowers

SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
    SEX 101         You CAN Fall Asleep without It
    SEX 102         Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
    MEN 201         How to Stay Awake After Sex
    MEN 202         How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
    Elective        (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:
    MEN 210         The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
    MEN 211         How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
    MEN 212         You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
    MEN 213         Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially when Naked
    MEN 230A        Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1

Spring Schedule:
    MEN 220         Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
    MEN 221         Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
    MEN 222         Real Men Ask for Directions
    MEN 223         Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
    MEN 230B        Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

Course Electives:
    EAT 101         Cooking with Tofu
    EAT 102         Utilization of Eating Utensils
    EAT 103         Burping and Belching Discreetly
    MEN 231         Mothers-in-Law
    MEN 232         Appear to Be Listening
    MEN 233         Just Say "Yes, Dear"
    ECON 001C       Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001B)
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