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If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.

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You can tell you are a child of the 80's if...
You know what a burnout is. You know the profound meaning of Wax on, Wax off. You know that another name for a keyboard is a Synthesizer You can name at least half of the members of the elite Brat Pack. You wanted to be a Goonie. You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for sex with minors and videotaping it, because you liked him. You know who Max Headroom is. You wore fluorescent, neon clothing. You could breakdance, or wished you could. You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween. You Believed that By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power. Partying like its 1999 seemed SO far away. You remember what skin jeans were (and why everyone shouldn't have worn a pair!). You owned a pair of Nomads. You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. You thought his red leather jacket was cool. You used to wear one woollen glove to school too. You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did. You hold a special place in your heart for Back to the Future. You remember David Hasselhoff when he wore clothes and talked to his car. You know where to go if you wanna go where everybody knows your name. You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool. You actually thought Dirty Dancing was a REALLY good movie. When you had fights with your siblings you'd say "Don't make me angry!" then pretend to turn your eyes green. You have heard of Garbage Pail Kids. You knew The Artist when he was humbly called Prince. You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played Sam to be. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system. And ping-pong was tops until Donkey-Kong came along, which you thought would never be surpassed. You own any cassettes. You own any Tiffany cassettes. You remember dancing to popsters like Debbie Gibson. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon. Glow-worms? You remember And/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from Pizza Hut or any other stupid collection they came out with. Poltergeist freaked you out. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf. You wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did. You ever had a Swatch Watch. You had a crush on one of the Coreys (Haim or Feldman), or knew someone who did. You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos. You used to laugh at a hairy sock called Alf. You remember that spiky flat-tops were the rave after Top Gun. You know what a Whammee is. You used to boast about how they would achieve those motorcycle formation shots in CHiPs. You used to get into the family car by sliding through the open window of the closed car door. You saw Ghostbusters 7 times. You ran around the playground saying: "We came, we saw, we kicked ass!" You knew all the opening monologues to: The A-team, StreetHawk and AutoMan. If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a Child of the 80's.
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