How to program yourself to shoot yourself in the foot
C: You shoot yourself in the foot. C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there." FORTRAN 77: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility. FORTRAN 90: Shoot yourself in every toe of every foot with a single pull of the trigger. Modula-2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head. COBOL: USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEFT.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied. LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ... BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged. FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot. APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters. Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot. SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot. HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot left of leg of you. Answer the result. Prolog: You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to explain. 370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried. Java: Shoot yourself in the foot using any combination of gun and bullet, in theory. In practice using certain companies bullets with other companies guns can cause the whole thing to blow up in your face. At this point shooting yourself in the foot is irrelevant.
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