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If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him.

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Virus alert! Watch out for this one
This is serious.....the 'WORK' VIRUS is on the loose.... If you recieve any sort of 'work' at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around for months and those who have been tempted to open it or even look at it have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter 'work' via email, then to render it harmless, send an email to your boss with the words 'I've had enough of your shit...i'm off down the pub'. The 'work' should automatically be forgotten by your brain and your career will now be successfully destroyed. If you recieve 'work' in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag to your waste paper bin and deposit there. Put on your coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer. After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that 'work' will no longer be of any relavance to you and that 'Bod' was the greatest children's cartoon ever. Send this message to everyone in your mailbox. If you do not have anyone in your mailbox, then I'm afraid the 'work' virus has corrupted your life: go out and get some friends, you sad bastard!!
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