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AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.


The benefits of being female
We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic. Our boy friend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. We can cry and get off speeding fines. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. Free drinks. Free dinners. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. We know The Truth about whether size matters. If we have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, we're not the devil. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex. If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. We have the ability to dress ourselves. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable
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