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Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, "Hey, have you seen Fred?" And they'll say, "Fred who?" And you say, "Fred of snakes?" Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming.


Why email is like a penis...
(10) Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off. (9) Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior. (8) Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. (7) Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call "E-mail Envy." (6) It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done. (5) In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun. (4) If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses. (3) We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. (2) If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble. (1) If you play with it too much, you'll go blind.
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