Some words of wisdom
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. There's no future in time travel. Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Death is hereditary. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Multitasking - screwing up several things at once. Dyslexics of the world, untie! Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon! I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Polynesia: memory loss in parrots. Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW! I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! To err is human, to moo bovine. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull.... before. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
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