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A procrastinator's work is never done.

Funnies

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The Usenet automatic flame template
Dear:
 [ ] Clueless Newbie         [ ] Lamer           [ ] AOLer           
 [ ] Sheep Shagger           [ ] Me too-er       [ ] Pervert         
 [ ] Geek                    [ ] Shouter         [ ] Spanner
 [ ] Nerd                    [ ] Elvis           [ ] Cop
 [ ] Fed                     [ ] Freak           [ ] Scientologist
 [ ] Methodist               [ ] Englander       [ ] Moron
 [ ] Mud Packer              [ ] Tube            [ ] Liar
 [ ] Sir                     [ ] Twit            [ ] Great man on campus
 [ ] Madam                   [ ] Dweeb           [ ] Twerp        
 [ ] Elvis                   [ ] Moon Beam       [ ] Boor         
 [ ] Citoyen                 [ ] Geek            [ ] Grad Student
 [ ] Comrade                 [ ] Obergruppenfuehrer
 
You Are Being Flamed Because:
 [ ] You posted a "test" in a newsgroup other than alt.test
 [ ] You didn't pay attention to the topic of this newsgroup
 [ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
 [ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
 [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
 [ ] I don't appreciate your sense of humor
 [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
 [ ] You started an off-topic thread
 [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
 [ ] You begged for money.
 [ ] Your name is Gareth and you sent me stupid pictures again
 [ ] You said "me too" to something
 [ ] You suck
 [ ] You sent the 'Beep' message
 [ ] You brag about things that never happened
 [ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
 [ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
 [ ] I don't like your tone of voice
 [ ] I think you might be a fed or a cop
 [ ] You posted to more than four newsgroups 
 [ ] You asked a question without reading the FAQ
 [ ] You sent a mail bomb
 [ ] You forgot to turn off your capslock
 [ ] You are obviously not of the same opinion as me 
 [ ] You sent a stupid and useless mail messaage
 [ ] You bug me with your inane drivel
 [ ] I just felt like flaming you
 [ ] You replied to my mail far to slowly
 [ ] You sent the same mail message again for the 2nd time
 [ ] You sent the same mail message again for the 3rd time
 [ ] You sent the same mail message again for the 4th time
 [ ] You sent the same mail message again for the Nth time
 [ ] You didn't stick to the topic of my mail
 [ ] You didn't apologise enough for breathing
 [ ] you advocated Net censorship
 [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps)
 [ ] you threatened others with physical harm
 [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual
     superiority
 [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve
 [ ] you repeatedly showed lack of humor
 [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread
 [ ] you are posting an anonymous attack

To Repent, You Must:
 [ ] Be the PR guy for The Moonies [Unitarians] for one month
 [ ] Give up your AOL account
 [ ] Give up your E-Mail account for a month
 [ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
 [ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
 [ ] Actually post something relevant
 [ ] Read the FAQ
 [ ] Be the Pope's love slave for one week
 [ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
 [ ] Post your tests to alt.test
 [ ] Refrain from using any capital letters for 10 consecutive posts
 [ ] Reply to my mails within 1 working day of me posting them
 [ ] Always apologise to me for anything youv'e done
 [ ] Show due respect to me at all times
 
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
 [ ] Get a life
 [ ] Stop it
 [ ] Never post again
 [ ] I pity your dog
 [ ] Go to hell
 [ ] Just don't
 [ ] Sleep well tonight (as tommorow I will send you a virus)
 [ ] Yor process should have been aborted immediately after logon
 [ ] Stop talking such nonsense
 [ ] Learn to post or don't post again
 [ ] Take you opinions somewhere they may be appreciated
 [ ] If you ever post again I shall personally mail-bomb you
 [ ] Do us all a favor and crawl into some industrial machinery
 [ ] All of the above  

End Flame.
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