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A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."


Some classics from the 1998 World Cup
"I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish" Ian St John "Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored" - Terry Venables "The Croatians don't play well without the ball" - Barry Venison "It had to go in, but it didn't" -Peter Drury "That's lifted the crowd up into the air" - Barry Davies "He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss." Bobby Robson "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders" - Kevin Keegan More Kevin Keegan specials: "Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose" "That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved" "I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different" "A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off" Some Big Rons: "Zidane is not very happy, because he's suffering from the wind" "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it on their faces" "They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders" "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw" "He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate" "I'm afraid they've left their legs at home"
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