Boss button
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Funnies

-
-
Some great football quotes of our time
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..." - Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia. I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones" - Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992. "Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence." - NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning. "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best. "If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent" - Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990. "That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on." - John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was. "I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs" - Andy Grey, SkySport Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league ? Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard. "If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen." - TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold "It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday." - (Radio 5 Live) "I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it." - ALAN BALL "Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." - TREVOR BROOKING "Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." - TOM FERRIE "And I honestlybelieve we can go all the way to Wembley unless somebody knocks us out." - DAVE BASSETT "And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds." - PETER JONES "What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal." - JIMMY HILL "Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins." - BRIAN MOORE "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - DAVID ACFIELD What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio - Gerry Francis If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers. - Mick Lyons He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head - Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994) The crowd think that Todd handled the ball they must have seen something that nobody else did - Barry Davies (1975) I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel - Stuart Pearce (1992) Jimmy Hill: Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through? Terry Venables: I think it's fifty - fifty. There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch - Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39 Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate - Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim - Berti Vogts, Germany coach Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time - Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted - John Motson, France v Bulgaria Why didn't you just belt it son? - Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss. The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney - Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because they brought out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over my forehead - Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas, Turkey. The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the entertainment value is not much above nil - Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little buzz around the place - Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players - praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their names - David Ginola of Newcastle and France It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up - Ian Wright on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf, it's the wrong time of year - Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of help - Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his lottery numbers - Ian Wright "Asking Ruud Gullit to perform in this sort of match is like asking Kiri te Kanawa to jam with the Spice Girls" - 5 Live's Pat Murphy on the lousy pitch at Derby and the ill-tempered nature of the game If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them..... - Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game.
Vote for this funny: Vote --Vote -Vote 0Vote+Vote ++ | Number of views: 2973 | Mail this funny to a friend

Mail this page to a friend
Add some graffiti