A few things found on toilet walls
1. Why are you reading this? The joke is in your hand. 2. Any arsehole can piss on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling! 3. The future is in your hands! 4. Some come here to sit and think. Some come here to shit and sink. But I come here to scratch my balls And read the bullshit on the walls. 5. Scrawled in BIG ANGRY RED letters: 'I FUCKED your mother!!!' Neatly printed in small calm blue letters: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.' 6. Sign in the toilet said 'Please use the ashtray'. Guess what was in the ashtray? 7. Written at the very bottom of a bathroom door in very small printing... I had to lean WAY forward to read it... It said: 'You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle!' 8. On a condom vending machine: 'This gum tastes like rubber!' 9. This toilet paper is like John Wayne: it's tough, it's rough... and it doesn't take shit from anyone. 10. Please do not throw cigarette buts in this urinal: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
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- I trust Excalibur will not rise in this stretch of water?