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"Public speaking is very easy." ...Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to reporters in 10/9

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How to photograph a puppy
1. Remove film from box and load camera 2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash 3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle 4. Choose a suitable background for photo 5. Mount camera on tripod and focus 6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth 7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera 8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees 9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand 10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens 11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash 12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose 13. Put magazines back on coffee table 14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head 15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage 16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say "No, No, outside!!" 17. Forget about taking a photograph and have a drink instead
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