How to maintain your (in)sanity at work
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior- Princess@companyname.com 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. 6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN." 7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. 8) Put decaffeinate in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 9) In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favours. 10 )Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." 11) Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." 12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. 13) Don't use any punctuation 14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.) 17) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3." 18) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 19) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name. 20) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do." 30) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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