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I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.

Funnies

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The nine types of boyfriend
1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, okay?" Also Known As: Mr. Nice Guy, Family Man, Honey, Darling, Snugglepup Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy 2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also Known As: Grumbles, Sour-Puss, Stick-in-the-Mud, Old Fogey, Jerk Advantages: Stays put; predictable Disadvantages: Pain in the butt 3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also Known As: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle 4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin.' " Also Known As: Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, The Hulk Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig 5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also Known As: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Hobo, Bum, Sleepyhead Advantages: Well rested; easy target Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams 6. The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also Known As: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, SOB Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt Disadvantages: May be having time of his life 7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels." Also Known As: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova Advantages: Perpetually aroused Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused 8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--" Also Known As: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Story Teller, Fool Advantages: Tells good stories Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus" 9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht." Also Known As: Mr. Perfect Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction (Author believed to be Matt Groening)
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