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"So, this movie you star in, The Life Story of George Best, tell us what it's about." George Gavin, Sky Sport


The nine types of boyfriend
1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, okay?" Also Known As: Mr. Nice Guy, Family Man, Honey, Darling, Snugglepup Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy 2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also Known As: Grumbles, Sour-Puss, Stick-in-the-Mud, Old Fogey, Jerk Advantages: Stays put; predictable Disadvantages: Pain in the butt 3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also Known As: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle 4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin.' " Also Known As: Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, The Hulk Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig 5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also Known As: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Hobo, Bum, Sleepyhead Advantages: Well rested; easy target Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams 6. The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also Known As: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, SOB Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt Disadvantages: May be having time of his life 7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels." Also Known As: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova Advantages: Perpetually aroused Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused 8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--" Also Known As: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Story Teller, Fool Advantages: Tells good stories Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus" 9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht." Also Known As: Mr. Perfect Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction (Author believed to be Matt Groening)
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