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Description of a new element - Administratium
Researchers recently discovered the heaviest element known to science: Administratium. Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected in that it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take more than four days to complete when it would normally take less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of three years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a number of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'critical morass'. You will know it when you see it!
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