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How to judge someone's personality by their drink
WOMEN Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. (Pretentious) Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation. Drink: Barcardi Breezer - Hooch Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in. Drink: Shots (Vodka, Gin etc.) Personality: Hanging with boy pals or looking to get drunk and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait. ___________________________________________________________________________ MEN - as always, very simple and clear cut. Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to get laid. Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid. Vodka : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid. Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid. Southern Comfort : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid. Tequila : Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something with a pulse (he's obviously from Barrow-in-Furness or the far North of Scotland) Barcardi Breezer/Hooch/Malibu : He's gay
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