Boss button
It's amazing to me that one of the world's most feared diseases would be carried by one of the world's smallest animals: the real tiny dog. When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?" When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way.

Funnies

-
-
The joys of English
Doctors office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. On an Athi River highway: "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE." On a poster at Kencom: "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP." In a City restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS." In a Pumwani maternity ward: "NO CHILDREN ALLOWED." In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES." Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED." In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS." Hotel brochure, Italy: "THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE." Hotel elevator, Paris: "PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK." Hotel, Yugoslavia: "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID." Hotel, Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID." In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY." Taken from a menu, Poland: "SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION." In an East African newspaper: "A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS." A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE." Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE." An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS." Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?" In the window on a Swedish furrier: "FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN." In a Swiss mountain inn: "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM." Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS." On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT." A laundry in Rome: "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME." In a Bangkok temple: "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."
Vote for this funny: Vote --Vote -Vote 0Vote+Vote ++ | Number of views: 3499 | Mail this funny to a friend

Mail this page to a friend
Add some graffiti