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You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?!


Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Indubitably - Innovative - Preliminary - Proliferation - Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Specificity - British Constitution - Passive-aggressive disorder - Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. - Nope, no more beer for me. - Sorry, but you're not really my type. - Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight. - Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
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