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You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?!

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Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Indubitably - Innovative - Preliminary - Proliferation - Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Specificity - British Constitution - Passive-aggressive disorder - Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: - Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. - Nope, no more beer for me. - Sorry, but you're not really my type. - Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight. - Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
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