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Folks still remember the day ole Bob Riley came bouncing down that dirt road in his pickup. Pretty soon, it was bouncing higher and higher. The tires popped, and the shocks broke, but that truck kept bouncing. Some say it bounced clean over the moon, but whoever says that is a goddamn liar.


Fifty things that women can't do
1. know anything about a car except its colour 2. understand a film plot 3. go 24 hours without sending a text message 4. lift 5. throw 6. run 7. park 8. understand the off-side rule in football 9. read a map 10. rob a bank 11. resist Ikea 12. sit still 13. tell a joke 14. play pool 15. pay for dinner 16. eat a kebab whilst walking 17. pee out of a train window 18. argue without shouting 19. get told off without crying 20. understand fruit machines 21. walk past a shoe shop 22. make a decent bacon sandwich 23. not comment on a strangers clothes 24. use small amounts of toilet paper 25. let you sleep with a hangover 26. drink a pint gracefully 27. get a round in 28. throw a punch 29. do magic 30. like your friends 31. enjoy porn 32. eat a really hot curry 33. get to the point 34. buy plain envelopes 35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet 36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold" 37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates 38. avoid credit card debt 39. dive into a pool 40. assemble furniture 41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb 42. set a video recorder 43. not try and change you 44. watch a war film 45. understand why flirting results in violence 46. spend a day by themselves 47. go to the toilet by themselves 48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket 49. choose a video quickly 50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the ABOVE.
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