Boss button
People who don't drive slam car doors too hard


A fairly comprehensive list of euphamisms for masturbation
audition the finger puppets backstroke roulette bash the candle be a virtuoso of the skin flute beat off beat the bishop beat the dummy beat the meat beat the stick beat up your date beef-stroke-it-off bleed the weed blow your load bludgeon the beefsteak bop the baloney box the Jesuit and get cockroaches boxing the bald champ buff the banana burp the baby burp the worm butter the corn choke Kojak choke the chicken choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come clamp the pipe clean your rifle climb Mount Baldy closet Frisbee come into your own cook the cream of cock corral the tadpoles couch hockey for one crank the shank crimp the wire crown the king cuff the carrot diddle do a hand job do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love do handiwork do the janitor thing drain the monster engage in safe sex fist fuck fist your mister five knuckle shuffle flog the dog flog the dong flog the hog flog your mule fondle the fig friggit gallup the antelope genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion get a date with Slick Mittens get the German soldier marching get to know yourself give it a tug go a couple of rounds with ol' josh go on a date with Handrea and Palmela grease the pipe hack the hog have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake have a date with Fisty Palmer have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming slang) have it off have sex with someone you love hitchhike to heaven hitchhike under the big top hold the sausage hostage hug the hog hump your hose jack hammer jack off jazz yourself jerk off jerkin' the Gherkin juggling the coullions meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump launching the rocket skyward lope the mule make instant pudding make the bald man puke mangle the midget manipulate the mango manual override master bacon meet Rosie Hancock milk the cow milk the lizard mount a corporal and four nerk your throbber null the void oil the glove onan's olympics pack your palm paddle the pickle paint the ceiling paint the pickle peel the banana peel some chilies perform diagnostics on your ManTool play a little five-on-one play in a one-man show play five against one play pocket pinball play pocket pool play tug-of-war with the cyclops play Uno please your pisser plunk your twanger polish Percy in your palm polish the family jewels polish the rocket polish the sword pound off pound the bald-headed moose pound the pud pound your flounder pull off pull rank pull the carrot pull the cord pull the five-knuckle shuffle pull the goalie pull the pole pull the pope pull your prick pull your taffy pump the python punchin' the munchkin ram the ham ride the great white knuckler roll your own rope the pony rope the pope rub off rub one out run off a batch by hand sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights scour the tower of power self abuse self-induced penile regurgitation shag shake hands with the unemployed shake hands with your John Thomas shake hands with your wife's best friend shemp the hog shift gears shine the helmet shine your pole shoot putty at the moon shoot skeet (pull...shoot) shoot the moon slakin' the bacon slam the ham slam the spam slammin' the salmon slap high fives with Yul Brynner slap the carrot, slap the clown slap the donkey slap the pud slap the salami slappin' pappy sling the jelly snap the monkey snap the rubber snap the whip solo sex spank the frank spank the monkey spank the salami squeeze the cheese squeeze the juice stinky pinky stir the yogurt stoke it stroke it stroke off stroke the one-eyed burping gecko stroke the dog stroke the satin-headed serpent stroke your poker take matters into your own hands take the monster for a one-armed ride take part in population control tease the weenie tenderize the tube steak test the testicles test your batteries the art of Unisex tickly my fancy tickle the pickle toss off toss the turkey twang the wire thump the pump tweak your twinkie varnish the flagpole wack the one-eyed worm wack the weasel wack the willie walk the dog walk the plank wank wax the carrot wax the dolphin wax your surfboard whack off whip off whip the dummy whip the wire whip up some sour cream whip your dripper whizzin' jism wixen wonk your conker work off wrestle the eel wring out your rope wrist aerobics yank off yank the crank yank your plank yank the yoyo
Vote for this funny: Vote --Vote -Vote 0Vote+Vote ++ | Number of views: 3100 | Mail this funny to a friend

Mail this page to a friend
Add some graffiti