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When the sun comes up, I have morals again. -Elayne Boosler

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The sex of objects
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it ... and, of course, there's the hot air part. SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water. SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL - female ! .... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives men pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
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