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Feedback form for Usenet rants
Thank you for taking the time to make a raving post on Usenet. In order to help us improve our service, please take a moment to fill out the customer response card below. --------------------------------------------------------------------- First Name, Last Name: .............................................. Stupid internet nickname that no one but you cares about: ........... Yahoo Anonymous Alias: .............................................. Hotmail Anonymous Alias: ............................................ Other Anonymous Aliases: ............................................ 1. How did you hear about Usenet? [_] Classmate showed me [_] Saw it over the shoulder of stalking victim [_] Pornography convention [_] thisis not usemet,,,,tihs is aol u dum ass!!!!!!!!!!!! [_] Reality TV show [_] Fantasy Role Playing game club [_] Caught junior downloading porn, made him teach me [_] Other (Please explain) .................................... 2. What first inspired you to post to Usenet (Check all that apply) [_] Must make world aware of conspiracies [_] Just obeying voice in head [_] Simply enjoy fruitless arguments with strangers [_] Plain old general stupidity [_] Youthful fallacy of black-and-white world compels me to voice all disagreements [_] Delusional attempt to reach out to girl I obsess over [_] Incorrectly believe I have something interesting to say [_] Seek affirmation [_] Delusions of grandeur [_] Other (please explain) .................................... 3. Other than raving, what do you use Usenet for? (Check all that apply) [_] Downloading pornography [_] Cyber-stalking [_] Downloading pornography [_] Learn of new conspiracies [_] Downloading pornography [_] Personal attacks [_] Downloading pornography [_] Downloading gay pornography [_] Routine trolling [_] Downloading pornography [_] Fact checking [_] Nothing else, just the raving thing 4. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future. (Check all that apply) [_] Beer [_] Jack Daniels [_] Double-wide [_] AR-15 [_] Ill-fitting pants [_] carton of Camels [_] Tattoo [_] Red Man / Skoal [_] Real Doll [_] Calc 101 textbook [_] Annual pass to the local titty bar [_] Acne cream [_] Body piercing [_] Anal lube 5. How would you characterize your raving? (Check all that apply) [_] Partisan [_] Incoherent [_] Obsessive [_] Dogmatic [_] Crazed [_] Paranoid [_] Deluded [_] Obvious warning sign [_] Drunken [_] Vindictive [_] Juvenile [_] Plea for help [_] Megalomaniacal [_] Other (Please describe) ................................ 6. To what do you attribute your raving? (Check all that apply) [_] Sun spots / solar flares [_] Kicked in head by horse [_] Gulf War Syndrome / other imaginary disease [_] Anaphylactic shock from some bad beaver [_] Student [_] Whitey's holding me down [_] Hootch, lots of it [_] Routine mental retardation [_] Lack of parental affection as a child [_] Unrequited love [_] Politically correct programming [_] Boating accident [_] Latent homosexual desires [_] The Dero [_] Other (Please describe) ................................ 7. Besides Usenet, what other activities do you participate in? (check all that apply) [_] Dirty websites [_] Posing as a hot teenage girl in chat rooms [_] Stalking [_] Voyeurism [_] Heavy drinking [_] Organized protests (cause unimportant) [_] Militia training [_] Fashioning tinfoil hats to block government mind control rays [_] Obscene phone calls [_] UFO spotting [_] Anonymous threats [_] Recreational drugs [_] Scrapbooking [_] Killing animals [_] Haranguing strangers on the street [_] Student government [_] Really heavy drinking [_] Group therapy [_] Pep rallies [_] Serial killing 7. Which characteristics describe your posting style? (Check all that apply) [X] Frequent misspellings [_] Eschew punctuation [_] Strict use of mono-case (upper or lower) [_] Marked by frequent profanity [_] Random punctuation [_] Multiple, sequential punctuation marks [_] Refer to self in third person [_] Use grammar rules of own device [_] Post same article multiple times [_] Avoid white space as if it was work 8. What is your social group affiliation / general description? (check all that apply) [_] Loser / chronic ipsator [_] Boozehound / amorphous blob [_] Student / couldn't find own ass with two hands and spatial diagram [_] Social retard / pariah [_] Misanthrope / ticking time bomb [_] Martyr / general failure 9. Are you really so stupid as to believe your disorganized, insipid, heavy handed prose will persuade other people people who are just as thick-headed and unable to think for themselves as you are -- to reconsider their opinions? [_] Yes [_] You're Goddamn right. Thank you for your participation. Your answers will be used to make future enhancements to Usenet. Comments or suggestions about Usenet or black helicopters? Please write fnlosers@hotmail.com Profanity-laced diatribes preferred.
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