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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. * W.C. Fields

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Some stuff about growing old
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 20 success is . . going all the way. At age 35 success is . . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 60 success is . . going all the way. At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
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