Funnies
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Some real life helpdesk stories
A late-night help desk shift worker once received a wrong number call from a
lady complaining that her dog's testicles were grossly enlarged. Rather than
tell her it was a wrong number, he proceeded to give advice over the phone,
and logged the call on the incident log, with full details of the advice
given, namely wash the dog's testicles in warm soapy water, give it some
aspirin and see a vet in the morning! This was the only time in my career in
which an incident on the incident log was actually deleted - not until I
printed off a copy and emailed it to my friends!
A while back a man complained his big floppy drive was eating disks. So I
went out, and the gate was up on the 5 1/4 inch drive. There doesn't seem to
be a disk in the drive, can I see one you were using?" "Oh, that one, that
one." he said pointing at the tiny gap beneath the drive." Not trusting
myself to commment, I turned the PC off and opened the case. 5 1/4 disks
spilled out. There must have been 20 or 30 of them. I scratched my cheek as
I watched them spill out onto the floor. "At what point did you figure out
that this drive wasn't working?" "Well," he said, "When I ran out of disks,
I figured I'd better call for help." I bit my lip a minute. "Good call. Good
call."
Asking a lady to switch her printer off and on again because it wasn't
responding at all. Whereupon she said "it's already off, do I need to switch
it on before switching it off and on again?" to which I replied, "no
switching something on is normally sufficient to allow it to work". This is
not made up or anecdotal, I really had that conversation.
Being sent a photocopy of some disks after asking a client to send
us a "backup of their software".
End User: "My Rabbit's Dead."
Support: "Sorry to hear that sir, how can I help you though?"
End User: "No my rabbit's dead, I can't move the pointer about the screen!"
Support "You mean your mouse isn't working?"
End User: "Yes, I knew it was some sort of animal!"
Girl from HR with large chest walks in to department and says "I'm sorry to
bother you guys but I really need to get these out!" Talking about her
newest pamphlet.
Hearing a colleague say "and what was the extent of the fire?" when a user
was complaining that his PC would not work.
I know it's been told many times in the past, but I really have had a user
ask me, while doing a tutorial: "Which one is the any key?" In fact, he
asked me the same question three times in succession when the prompt came up
the next time.
Someone telling me their "broadbean" connection may be down."
This guy called up and said his monitor was too dim. Talked him through
changing brightness and contrast but didn't help so went to see him. Took
the sunglasses off his head and the monitor was fine.
When we first got the 21" monitors in, and were unpacking them, one of our
helpdesk staff (female) was asked to lend a hand, her reply "I can't even
handle 17 inches" - at which point there was silence followed by laughter
from female/male colleagues and a very embarrassed staff member - her
boyfriend worked at the other site and was informed that "he was a very
lucky bloke".
- tashanyarada