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Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.

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Stupid warning labels
A flushable toilet brush that warns users, .Do not use for personal hygiene. has been identified as the nation.s wackiest warning label in an annual contest sponsored by a consumer watchdog group. OTHER WINNERS. The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: .This product moves when used.. Third place and $100 went to Ann Marie Taylor of Camden, South Carolina who found the following warning on a digital thermometer that can be used to take a person.s temperature several different ways: .Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.. Fourth place was a label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in .blending, whipping, chopping and dicing,. that warns: .Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.. Sent in by Ken Stein of Berkeley, California. In fifth place was a label on a nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material. It carries this warning: .Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device..Sent in by Christen Millard of Westerville, Ohio. A label on a baby stroller warns: .Remove child before folding A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: .Harmful if swallowed A household iron warns users: .Never iron clothes while they are being worn. A label on a hair dryer reads, .Never use hair dryer while sleeping. A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: .This product not intended for use as a dental drill.. The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: .If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.. A smoke detector warns: .Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.. A massage chair warns: .DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.. A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, .Do not drive with sunshield in place. An .Aim-n-Flame. fireplace lighter cautions, .Do not use near fire, flame or sparks. A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use .while sleeping or unconscious. A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: .Do not use as a ladder.. A cartridge for a laser printer warns, .Do not eat toner. A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: .Not intended for highway use. A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: .May irritate eyes. A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: .Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.. A snowblower warns: .Do not use snowthrower on roof.. A dishwasher carries this warning: .Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.. A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: .Caution - Risk of Fire. A box of birthday cake candles says: .DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity..
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