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Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has anybody seen my raisins?" (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.)


Some facts about men (for women)
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high. 2. Woman don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason:you're sick of him. 4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too. 5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do. 6. If you want a nice man go for a ugly one -- they try harder. 7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway. 8. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay. 9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart. 10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee. 11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is married. 12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman. 13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong, but you could still use them. 14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets. 15. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man. 16. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop"..
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