Boss button
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

Funnies

-
-
The stages of life for men and women
    THE MALE

AGE        DRINK
17         beer
25         bourbon
35         vodka
48         double vodka
66         Maalox

AGE        SEDUCTION LINE
17         My parents are away for the weekend.
25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35         My fiance is away for the weekend.
48         My wife is away for the weekend.
66         My second wife is dead.

AGE     FAVOURITE SPORT
17         sex
25         sex
35         sex
48         sex
66         napping

AGE     DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17         "tongue"
25         "breakfast"
35         "She didn't set back my therapy."
48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66         "Got home alive."

AGE     FAVOURITE FANTASY
17         getting to third
25         airplane sex
35         menage a trois
48         taking the company public
66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE     WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17         25
25         35
35         48
48         66
66         17

AGE      IDEAL DATE
17         Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25         "Split the check before we go back to my place"
35         "Just come over."
48         "Just come over and cook."
66         "Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas."

and now....


THE FEMALE

AGE     DRINK
17         Wine Coolers
25         White wine
35         Red wine
48         Dom Perignon
66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

AGE     EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17         Need to wash my hair
25         Need to wash and condition my hair
35         Need to colour my hair
48         Need to have Francois colour my hair
66         Need to have Francois colour my wig

AGE    FAVOURITE SPORT
17         shopping
25         shopping
35         shopping
48         shopping
66         shopping

AGE     DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17         "Burger King"
25         "Free meal"
35         "A diamond"
48         "A bigger diamond"
66         "Home Alone"

AGE      FAVOURITE FANTASY
17         tall, dark and handsome
25         tall, dark and handsome with money
35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48         a man with hair
66         a man

AGE     WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17         17
25         25
35         35
48         48
66         66

AGE      IDEAL DATE
17         He offers to pay
25         He pays
35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66         He can chew breakfast
Vote for this funny: Vote --Vote -Vote 0Vote+Vote ++ | Number of views: 2186 | Mail this funny to a friend

Mail this page to a friend
Add some graffiti