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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.


A handy guide to male and female english
--------------------------------- THE MAN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH --------------------------------- We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain You' manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight! = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're not going to like I'll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix so you'd better get used to it I'm not yelling! = Yes I'm yelling because I think it's important All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your check book? --------------------------------- THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH --------------------------------- I'm hungry = I'm hungry I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy I'm tired = I'm tired Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Nice dress = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you What's wrong? = I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this What's wrong? = what meaningless, self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? I love you = Let's have sex now I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any damn dress and let's go home!
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